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About Deviant Premium Member Commission Connoisseur26/Male/United States Groups :iconall-things-military: All-Things-Military
 
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Statistics 79 Deviations 2,748 Comments 42,229 Pageviews

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Coming Down The Pipeline...

INCOMING ART:

:iconcrys-art: - Zerro and Suriyawong/ Fullbody, Colored
Commissioned: March 13th, 2013
Status: Paid; Waiting...

:iconhaihovothan: - Valencia w/ BG
Commissioned: May 26th, 2013
Status: Paid; Waiting...

:iconm-o-c-h-a: Suriyawong/ Pixel
Commissioned: May 25th, 2013
Status: Paid; Waiting...

:iconoverlordjc: - Tactical Zerro and Suriyawong/ Full-body, Colored
Commissioned: August 29, 2013
Status: Paid, Waiting...

More to come and, hopefully, more to remove from this list. I've been waiting on several of these commissions for over 3 months now.

The Finish Line

A list of my latest completted commissions for future records.

:iconnekora907:
Commissioned: June 3rd, 2013
Received: July 28th, 2913
:thumb388842530:

:iconshibird:
Commissioned: June 3rd, 2013
Received: July 28th, 2013
www.deviantart.com/users/outgo…

:iconmieuchan: - Suriyawong/ Fullbody Pixel
Commissioned: July 11th, 2013
Received: July 29th, 2013
Suriyawong by MieuChan

:iconsabviee: - Kaciana, Valencia, Haliwyn, Vitani/ Full-body, Colored
Commissioned: August 3rd, 2013
Recieved: 1. (09AUG13) fav.me/d6hd53e 2. (11AUG13) fav.me/d6hm3b8
3. (22AUG13) fav.me/d6jbwo7 4. (25AUG13) fav.me/d6jr6ek

:iconmzzazn: Anime headshot of Umbra
Commissioned:September 2nd, 2013
Received: September 4th, 2013
fav.me/d6kya1r

:iconjanirotluvx: Umbra and Moana/ Fullbody, Colored, No BG
Commissioned: July 23rd, 2013
Recieved: September 10th, 2013
:thumb399369045:

:iconorichie: - Haliwyn and Fali (seperate)/ Headshot, Colored
Commissioned: June 30th, 2013
Recieved: September 12th, 2013
sta.sh/01d4f32gbxp8
sta.sh/02dyfxfv8nzt

:iconcookiehana: - Valencia
Won Raffle to Commission: May 18th, 2013
Recieved: September 12th, 2013
CM:: Zerro by CookieHana

If a tree falls down in the forest and there's not a single creature around, does it make a sound? 

88%
38 deviants said Yes
12%
5 deviants said No

Visitors

:iconlemonaderoses:
LemonadeRoses
Mar 29, 2015
12:33 pm
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fuuchi97
Mar 27, 2015
12:26 pm
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TinyTeaDrinker
Mar 27, 2015
8:23 am
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arekupacific
Mar 27, 2015
4:22 am
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CloudyKnight
Mar 25, 2015
8:40 am

Activity


Hey, it's me again.

For those who actually give half a rat's ass about my existence (all two of you), I'm not going to be readily available for a about a month, give or take. Yep, doing that Navy thing that I've managed to keep doing even though I'm a despicable human being.

So to all the people who I've commissioned I'll be sending my military email so that I can stay in touch.
if I'm on a waiting list, I would like it if my spot would still be held or that I be given immediate attention after I return.

If you're not someone I've dedicated my affection/attention or money to, then I guess whatever. Neither of us will suffer from my absence.
Thought about putting a pistol to my head the other day. Now, before you jump to conclusions understand something: just because you place the barrel of a firearm to your temple and pull the trigger doesn't mean you will kill yourself. First you have to introduce ammunition to the weapon and then chamber said ammunition. On the M9 model (which would be the most available to me at this time), this requires that you manually pull the slide back and depress the slide release lever so as to allow the slide to go forward again. After that you have to release the weapon's safety, once again place the business end of the weapon to your head and pull the trigger.

I'm not suicidal, I think I would just like to simulate how it would feel, you know? I mean, all this information that I've just given you, I've known for some time. It would dilute the experience, quite a bit. But maybe if I tried really hard, I could make myself believe that I would be about to take my own life. And maybe, in those few seconds, I could find something to live for. Something to kick-start my natural inclination for survival.

I've been exceeding angry lately. The slightest thing just grates at me till I'm consumed with rage. As it were, I've recently rediscovered just how much I hate people. The liars, backstabbers, heartbreakers, assholes, pricks, racists, sexists, inconsiderate jerks, tunnel-visioned idiots, know-it-all shit stains... You get the point. How very little light there is in this world nowadays. So so little.

I've also come to the conclusion that I hate slow people. Not slow as in mentally challenged (I don't use that slur anymore, thank you) but people who just generally don't move or act with efficiency. I have but one life to live and I'd rather accomplish as much as possible before death takes me away from all of this bullshit. So it grates me when my time is being destroyed by someone who clearly doesn't value life to the same extent as I do. Why waste time waiting in line when you could be enjoying your purchased item(s) as home? Why spend extra minutes walking to your destination when you could get there, do your business and be well on your way to something more enjoyable? Why why why? Lazy slobs. I hate them a bit more than the average asshole.

I hate this one guy I work with (If you're reading this and you've figured out I'm talking about you; it's nothing personal, which is why I hadn't told you myself). We were out at sea when he saw me on the main deck of our ship. Small talk ensued and I happened to ask him about the condition of his love life. In hindsight, I shouldn't have, as 1. it was none of my business and 2. I'm still suffering from my own dumping. Alas, I did ask so therefore I was answered. He broke it off with the girl after only 4 months. I asked him why, wondering what could have gone so badly in such a short amount of time (If you read this and go all like, "that's not really that short", please don't comment. I don't really care for your opinion if your outlook it like that, neither do I care for an explanation). He tells me "She could handle the long distance." Now, that's when I started to get a bit steamed.
You see, I've heard of people, service members and civilians, that have had amazing, healthy relationships even from complete opposite sides of the planet. All it took was a little "love" (I used quotes because I've realized that what I consider to be love doesn't apparently fit with the definition most people use), patience and "trust" (note the quotes again).

"She couldn't handle the distance? Well, how do you know that," I asked, hoping for a logically answer with some nice, strong evidence to back it up.

"I just know"

Man, if I was steamed before. He goes on to casually (which probably the most disgusting thing to me about this) how he could just tell she couldn't handle the distance and how he was the girl's first love and how she cried.

I wanted to break his tiny, little neck, beat his face in and toss the body over the side. And that's in front of all the other individuals hanging around the area too.

Of course, I could never actually bring myself to actually harm another service member, especially a shipmate, but I had to get away from him ASAP, lest rude things be said. So I immediately grew curt with the chap and simply walked away to another section of the ship, wherein I immediately slammed my fist into a water-tight door until my knuckles ached like I had broken them.

For such a lousy excuse, the guy I work with broke some poor girl's heart. And then he CASUALLY explained it, as if it were NOTHING at all. "Oh, I woke up this morning, had a cup a coffee, utterly destroyed a young woman's trust and hope then ran outside to grab the paper. Nothing new."

As someone who's been the victim of this, I simply have no tolerance for this type of thing. Four months. Four fucking months. Just enough to start feeling safe and secure; to feel like maybe, just maybe letting your guard down wasn't such a bad idea.

The guy went to visit her and even met her parents. 4 months... Jesus , I hate that guy.

The most unastounding revelation I've recently had is the reconfirmation of just how much I hate myself. If you haven't gathered just by reading any of this, I'm an asshole. Probably one of the biggest assholes out there. I let my frustration and anger get the better of me 8 out of 10 times and lash out at random idiots who just happen to tip the scales a tad bit more into the red; I think I've grown into a sexist, as I have the HARDEST time trusting women nowadays (well, mainly the ones I work with); I'm perfectly fine with there being suffering and war around the world so long as it doesn't effect me or my loved ones (which, since my break up, sorta just leaves me); nowadays I see homeless people on the street and don't even bother to dig in my pockets for money anymore; I preach about fairness and equality but I still don't care about what a lot of people think (mm... that's not totally true, but when people get all high and mighty with me I just... can't); I think I'm smarter than people who constantly use memes, even though there is no proof of this; I also think I'm smarter than people who say they're smarter than me, which is a double sin because not only is that prideful but it's hypocritical too (also, how can you even judge intelligence? By testing? Cause that just tells you what a person knows, not how much they CAN know/learn)
I hate myself because I haven't spoken to my mother in 3 years simply because I'm waiting for an apology that I know will never come and that I shouldn't even be looking for in the first place. I hate myself because I know all of this and still manage to feel proud that I've done this for so long.

I hate myself because it's been 5 damn months and I still cannot get over my Ex. I hate myself every 5 fucking minutes because I torture myself by thinking about her and about how little I must have meant to her. I hate myself FOR meaning so little to her. I hate myself for saying such horrible things about her and yet, I also hate myself for not saying them sooner too.

I hate myself because I am a disgusting, narcissistic, perverted prick who is so delusional that he thinks he's insightful, kind-hearted, generous and loving.

And that is why I wanted to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger.
If a tree falls down in the forest and there's not a single creature around, does it make a sound?
88%
38 deviants said Yes
12%
5 deviants said No
EDIT: Fore Warning Oi, this is just another journal about me and my ex. If you don't give a fuck about me (it's understandable if you don't so don't feel that you HAVE to read this now that I've called attention to the fact), or if you're bored with a 26 year-old griping over high school grade issues, please ignore this one.




My ex decided to contact me today after a month of silence. This marks the second time she's done this. I can't be certain, but I think this is some twisted, fucked up game she's playing with me. A month is just long enough for someone to start getting over something, you know? Like, if you saw a murder, you'd be traumatized for weeks, maybe the rest of your life but, the initial shock would probably dissolve within 30 days. Or maybe I'm just grasping at straws so as to explain the particular way I'm feeling. I'm not a psychologist, after all.

Anyways, I've still been a sloppy mess about everything. I don't get joy out of life anymore. I only see the dull gray of the world. The moments of happiness I have now are fewer and farther between and, because of such, I often over-exaggerate them to make them last a bit longer. I'm constantly having to find a way to distract myself too. Every time I have a spare moment with no project or task, I end up thinking about... well, her. Then I get depressed again.

i'm pretty pathetic, right?

I don't know if it how I was raised or if I just wanted to believe the fantasies and myths about love, but regardless, I really gave my whole heart to that girl. *sigh* I'm not very mature when it comes to things like this. "When you say you love someone, you mean it." Pretty naive thinking. The word love doesn't really have a place in this world; not in its original content anyways.

So, anyways, back to the topic on hand. So after a month of nothing, she sends me a Skype message. "mmm hello"

I cannot expressed how very angry that made me. I gave this girl my love, hopes, dreams and trust and here she is, after not a word for a month, she so casually greets me. As if I'm a damn toy that can be played with then stuffed away somewhere, out of the way for a month till she gets bored and decides to play with me once again.

Thinking back, maybe I overreacted to all of this, but honestly I'm just tired of all this. I'd have to imagine that my ex isn't completely oblivious to the way I feel about her; I've told her, oh, so many times, after all. So, every if she only had an inkling of the emotional struggle she puts me through, she would have to be able to surmise that playing this little of "Red Light, Green Light" is really screwin' with me. And if she knows that, then she MUST be doing this intentionally to hurt me. There's no other logical explanation for it. SHE broke up with ME, after all. After all the begging and pleading. If there was more I could have done to get her to reconsider, I don't know of it.

So, this brings me to my question: What the fuck does this sadistic bitch want with me?!

I'm so... tired. She's evil. Made me feel something, made me depend on her then took it all away. And now, when I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel, she pulls me back into the darkness. And for what? Just to leave me alone in my misery till I finally start to recover again?


You know, when I first met her, my ex said she was contemplating suicide. So, I did what I thought any other decent man would do, I decided to love her. At first, yes, it was to keep her from killing herself but, as time moved on, I genuinely fell for her. But now, after all this shit, I've had one constant thought running through my head. After the break up, it came to me but I didn't want to be the kind of asshole who would be able to say it. But, you know what, I AM that kind of asshole. In fact, the world's full of people like me.

I SHOULD HAVE LET YOU DIE

That's right. Judge me how you will. But, remember this: When you extinguish the light in somebody's heart, you've created more darkness to cover the world with. Don't go around breaking hearts or hurting people on a whim. There is so little beauty left in humanity.

If you find a good person, for God's sake; I beg of you; take care of them! Don't let them become like me, broken and twisted. Keep them pure! Let their love grow and spread! Let it take root and form a deep foundation in your life as well as the lives of others.

There is so little beauty left in humanity, after all...
UPDATE:

And the winner is :icontakkunotori:  takkunotori.deviantart.com/art…
!!!

I don't normally consume alcohol so the 1/8th of Redd's Apple Ale is really messing with my head. Seems to have improved my grammar though, go figure.

Anyways dudes and dudettes, my birthday's coming up in the next 2 days and I think I'm gonna get myself a tattoo. Veterans of harsh wars return home with battle scars; tourists with fanciful souvenirs. Me, yeah, thinkin' of gettin' some ink. Some say love is the ultimate battlefield except when ya go down, you're s'posed to get back up.

So anayways, I need a design. Something cool that screams "Zerro". I'll pay big bucks to whoever comes up with the best one. Let's say... $70. If it's REALLY good, I'll tack on a bit more. The only requirements are, it has to be blue and it has to have a knife plunging right through a heart-shaped object with the words "Zerro Love" somewhere. Also, no feminine stuff. I'm not sexist, but this IS going on a high-visibility part my body and I don't want to give off the wrong message to people.

I'll choose the best design a week from now.

Oh! Just so you guys don't ignore this, anyone who admits a design WILL receive something from me, whether it be PMs or cash. Check's in the mail on that one.

So... Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can drink half of this bottle and not puke. My liver's gonna flame my butt in the morning...

deviantID

Zerro's Profile Picture
Zerro
Commission Connoisseur
United States
:star:Every piece of art you see in my galleries, aside from literary entries, has been commissioned and crafted by other, highly talented deviants. I don't have an artistic bone in my body.:star:


PLEASE DO NOT ADVERTISE YOUR ART TO ME.
I only commission artists that fit my personal interests.

A Cornered Knife-Wielding Fox by Zerro

DO NOT ASK, BEG OR PLEAD FOR A PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP!
However, if you know of an amazing Deviant who you believe deserves one, please feel free to let me know~

Zerro = Zero + Rebirth. A long time ago, I felt like a nobody. A loser, a chump, a... zero. I was a sad, pitiful excuse for a man, a fact which I reveled in for the better part of the beginning of my life. I don't exactly remember how it happened but, I do remembr how it felt when I suddenly realized that my exsistence wasn't just that of a failure. I felt like I had been pardoned after commiting a murder. It was my rebirth.

From then on I decided that, in my personal life as well as that of the world wide web, I would have a name which reflected my past mistakes and deeds while, at the same time, conveying my newfound glory. Thus the moniker Zerro was born. Troubled past combined with unbridled future.

Later on, I joined the United States Navy and have served proudly ever since. I reemlisted July 24th.

I try to do things that I think wil make people happy. That doesn't make me a good person. Empathy is a nice quality for a person to have, but it isn't always a determining factor for someone intentions. Contrary to popular belief, you can't always judge a person purely on their actions.

Current Residence: USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN-72)
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Medium to Large
Print preference: Semi-gloss
Favourite genre of music: Alternative, Smooth Jazz, J-pop
Favourite photographer: Myself
Favourite style of art: Literature (Cause I can't really draw)
Operating System: Windows XP
MP3 player of choice: iPhone 4S
Shell of choice: Triple-Plated Titanium
Skin of choice: Active Camo
Favourite cartoon character: Huey, Heathcliff the Cat
Personal Quote: "Stranger things have happened..."

Official PayPal Seal
Interests
Hey, it's me again.

For those who actually give half a rat's ass about my existence (all two of you), I'm not going to be readily available for a about a month, give or take. Yep, doing that Navy thing that I've managed to keep doing even though I'm a despicable human being.

So to all the people who I've commissioned I'll be sending my military email so that I can stay in touch.
if I'm on a waiting list, I would like it if my spot would still be held or that I be given immediate attention after I return.

If you're not someone I've dedicated my affection/attention or money to, then I guess whatever. Neither of us will suffer from my absence.

Okay, so I have an AMAZING chance to get a commission from :Ryuuka-Nagare:! Which of my OCs should I select for this prestigious honor? 

24%
14 deviants said Umbra Umbra by Zerro
17%
10 deviants said Adult Suriyawong Suriyawong (Adult) by Zerro
17%
10 deviants said Princess Cosette Princess Cosette by Zerro
14%
8 deviants said The Goddess The Chains of Virtue and Order by Zerro
12%
7 deviants said Adult Moana Moana (Debutant) by ZerroMoana (Adult) by Zerro
7%
4 deviants said Kaciana Kaciana (Adult) by Zerro
5%
3 deviants said Zerro Amidst The Fire And The Fear... by Zerro
3%
2 deviants said Sylvie Slammer COM - Sylvie by Wingsie
2%
1 deviant said Valencia Valencia by Zerro
0%
No deviants said One of the many OCs that I didn't mention. (Leave a comment please)

~WINNER'S CIRCLE~

#1 Watchers' Favorite
:star:Suriyawong:star:
~:star:COMMISSION: Suriyawong by arekupacific:star:~

Journal History

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:icondj-kid:
DJ-Kid Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2015
Thank you for your premium! I am late on my thanks because I have not been very active in recent. Sorry about that!

How have you been?
Reply
:iconzerro:
Zerro Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2015
No worries
Reply
:iconblackcoffeeneko:
blackcoffeeneko Featured By Owner Edited Mar 11, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hey

i

was acually curios 

how's the one that draw your da id 8'^) ?
Reply
:iconnabilaeh:
NabilaEH Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Student Traditional Artist
I love moana *^*)
Reply
:iconsleepybirdie:
SleepyBirdie Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015
*Crying bcoz ur so nice to me*
Ahhhhnn thanks a million!! ♥
*bows a thousand times
Reply
:iconzerro:
Zerro Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015
Hey Mel~!

How ya been doin~?
Reply
:iconzeldacw:
zeldacw Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2014  Professional Artist
Thank you so much for giving me premium membership TuT
It's a Colorful World - Hug by zeldacw  
Reply
:iconzerro:
Zerro Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2014
No prob
Reply
:iconbunpurr:
bunpurr Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2014
Thanks for the sub Zerro!
I hope you are doing well!
Merry Christmas and a happy new year!
Reply
:iconcottoneeh:
Cottoneeh Featured By Owner Edited Dec 15, 2014
Hi there :)
Just wanted to know how you have been :D
Since I will be away for a 2-3 week holiday from next week on.
I hope you can celebrate a wonderful christmas and new year ♥
I wanted to draw your oc for christmas because she is so awesome, but I just have no time //cries a river
I hope your days are more stressless
Reply
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